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adventures in learning the practice of mediation

 

Archive for July, 2008

Silly pseudoscience to mindfulness

There’s a lot of chatter in the blogosphere and beyond about neuroscience, its applications to conflict and leadership studies, the people getting it right and the people perhaps just leaping and bringing along hordes of neophytes. Mirror neurons and neuroplasticity are good examples of advances in science sometimes twisted in on themselves by pop-science culture. (Click here and scroll down for one often shared view on mirror neurons, and here for another voice.)

brainAs a relative novice in conflict work and an outsider to the world of neuroscience, I enjoy living and working in a time when neuroscience can be accessible enough for me to have opportunities to absorb and apply it. Yet, I find it challenging to separate the true science from the pop.

I’ve come to trust Brains on Purpose for a responsible approach to the intersection of neuroscience and conflict studies. The recent “Are you a wise mediator or a woolly mystic?” is no exception.

The current work flapping some feathers is the TED lecture of Jill Bolte Taylor. Terms like “mapping the microcircuitry” sound very impressive to a layperson like me. Her message regarding the right hemisphere is one of interconnectedness that many people need right now. This is balanced by her message regarding the left hemisphere, as being that part of us which allows what many call “othering.” Her description of her near-death experience and the potential of all humankind which it revealed to her is moving (though I’ll admit, respectfully, I found myself thinking of Terrence McKenna at one point…at least a few of you might see it).

Stephanie West Allen has posted Some critical thinking about the Jill Bolte Taylor video. She quotes a professor as saying, “It is unfortunate that Jill Bolte dragged out the left-brain/right-brain stuff as an explanation for her experiences since the brain does not work that way.” And Diane Coutu says, “I can’t predict how much Taylor’s ideas are going to influence the business community, but the current popularity of so-called right-brain exercises in management training programs augurs badly.” As if the science weren’t enough, accounts of the wild profitability of this story unfortunately awakens the curmudgeonly skeptic in me.

I find the main idea of Ms. Taylor’s message to be both moving and inspiring. “We are the life force power of the universe … We have the power from moment to moment to choose who we want to be in the world…Which do you choose? And when?”

That’s something I can bring to the mediation table, to my coaching sessions, and with me in my own moments of conflict.

I think I’ll hold on to that and get my science elsewhere.

More on Mediating for Free
(or … Giving the milk away, Part Deux)

cashYou might have seen my recent post, “Giving the milk away – was Mom right?” Well, a very good conversation occurred recently on MediationMensch, MediationChannel, and mediator blah…blah… regarding the prospects and challenges of making money mediating as outlined in Urška Velikonja’s “Making Peace and Making Money: Economic Analysis of the Market for Mediators in Private Practice.”

When I first sat down to write about this, and the fascinating conversations it’s sparked, I took a sweeping, detailed, rather long approach. I found it gratifying to see a study echoing comments I’ve made myself in posts such as the one referenced above, and this one. My reactions were similar to many readers’ to the questions and hypotheses posed, the anecdotal evidence shared … and I wanted to give my two cents.

But really, much of what needs to be said has been already. Important questions are being asked about whether mediation is meant to be a profession, what changes need to be made to training programs, whether there really is a lack of demand for mediation services or if we’re just not trying hard enough to promote our services. I encourage you to read the posts on my friends’ blogs, and the very well written comments, as well as at least a few of Veilkonja’s plain facts:

  • “Of those who decide to become mediators, 80% cannot make a living solely as mediators … 15% keep busy, make a decent living…the top 5%…can gross…a million dollars per year.”
  • Approximately 25,000 volunteer mediators are practicing in community mediation centers in the U.S. “A large percentage of disputes…are mediated in free public programs.” Meanwhile, only 10,000 mediators make $50k or more per year. And various government, corporate, labor, educational and legal agencies employ just 4,000.
  • “Mediation remains a choice that is more often than not the result of a judicial or legislative mandate than of party choice…Mediators do not offer clients what they are looking for: a process where the prerequisite is not to be trusting, reasonable or logical, but a process where they can be angry and resentful … that works and … they will not be exploited.”
  • “While … a “massive amount of…mediation work” is going on in organizations, little of it is compensated and purchased separately, and is instead part of a managerial or government job.”

I’d like to discuss two aspects of this paper, which related to my own experience: overoptimism bred by training programs, and the winner-take-all economy.
It’s all rainbows and lollipops.

A recurring theme in this paper is “entrant overoptimism.” A number of my cohorts in the 40 hour basic training I took last fall expected to jump in to their new, lucrative mediation careers the day they went home with their certificate. Or maybe the day after that. Some were between jobs, others were eager to transition from related careers like family law or psychotherapy. A considerable portion were far more optimistic than I, even with our trainers’ warnings and realistically bleak pictures of making it anything more than an avocation.

I vividly recall one trainer explaining that it took five years and $70k in debt before mediation fed the family. My most optimistic cohorts seemed unfazed by this. Some seemed not to have read books or blogs about the profession before arriving for training. They were unaware of the mini-sized market for mediators, the personal and professional challenges of attempting to mediate full time. I do not place so much responsibility as Veilkonja does on the trainers, but more on the students. We must enter such weighty endeavors with eyes open. Many people do more research before buying an iPod than some students had done before endeavoring to change their own and their families’ lives.

Still, the mere existence of the revolving door of training sessions, each churning out 20+ newly trained neophytes, could be contributing to “overoptimism.” I can see how some would assume that if ‘they’ are training so many new mediators, there must be work. Having gone to a music college, I see the flaw in this logic. But to my point … Is that overoptimism such a bad thing? Veilkonja seems to think so, citing the cost society incurs for individuals paying large sums for training, and foregoing other career options, deep in their fog of overoptimism. Perhaps many learn a hard lesson when they finish their training and hang their shingle, and no one bangs the door down. And perhaps this perceived cost to society is worth what we get for it: more people, in more professions, households and communities, skilled in and inspired to learn more about conflict management and mediation.

Winner-take-all

First a definition if, like me, you have not studied basic economic principles. Reward is relative and concentrated “in the hands of the few”. Pay is not proportionate to anything. “While those near the top win big, everyone else is far behind, and their reward bears little relationship to how close they were to winning.”

Compare this to human capital theory, which applies to most markets and “predicts that workers…will be paid in proportion to the value of their productive contributions…Pay is distributed based on talent…and on the willingness to expend effort…”

Having graduated from a music college and since transitioned into nonprofit work, these theories resonate with me. I see how they are at work in the world of mediation. Consider Kanye West as compared to – well, any of the thousands (yes, thousands) of bands in the Boston area alone. The disparity is obvious. It sometimes seems as though there is little or nothing between mega-star and hobbyist in the music world. Of course this is not entirely true. There are teachers (school and private lesson), recording engineers, composers, recording artists, software engineers, combinations of these, the list seems endless.

But. For a fair comparison between the winner-take-all markets of music and mediation, we must only consider music performers. As Veilkonja rightly points out, mediation is not a reproducible act. It is the performance of the act of mediating a case that is done by Ms. Mediator in her way that creates a name, a reputation. Veilkonja also rightly points out that once I could buy a CD of Pavarotti, the next best guy was doomed to obscurity. If I can get Pavarotti, what do I need with Jones? And so the top few mediators, the ones with the most work behind them and the strongest reputation, continue to be the most sought after. The mega-stars.

All of you who play guitar in the basement through their headphone amp, or load in to Boston bars on Friday nights after long work-weeks, you know of what I speak. All of you mediators working 100+ hours a week to mediate, coach, self-promote, and after at least five years barely make a living – or barely break even. You know of what I speak. There is very little between that mega-star and the amazing hobbyist. Talent is not the major factor.

I must thank Urska for putting this very real picture of the mediation world in my head.

To learn more about this theory, Veilkonja recommends The Winner-Take-All Society by Frank & Cook. I think this might be a popular book for all mediators interested in either exploring the challenges to making money, or in changing the profession.

And finally, if you’ve read all the way to here, thank you for considering my thoughts. Aren’t you glad I didn’t take the sweeping, detailed, long-winded approach I started with? :-)

Gambling with efficacy and transparency

I was writing up a leadership tutorial today, creating a mini-collection of the leadership methods I’ve learned from various sources — including mediation training — and put into practice in my work. As often is the case, my mind wandered into various related corners and so lead me to consider the benefits of a transparent approach to working with people in multiple contexts.

My focus was on training the volunteer leaders I work with to put into practice some of the same leadership skills I use working with them. I hadn’t been full conscious of the fact that to date I had not yet provided this information quite so transparently. Why? I work with very capable and experienced people. Perhaps it was a fear that revealing all of the ‘tricks up my sleeve’ would render them less effective.

This seems to be the flavor of conversations I’ve had with experienced and novice mediators regarding the benefits and pitfalls of varying degrees of transparency in the mediation room. Like in many of the situations I find myself in at work, I think the degree of transparency appropriate in the mediation room depends on the situation: the person, the content of the conversation, even the timing.

In this brief moment of clarity, I find that I am much more hopeful about the benefits of transparency in leadership than I realized. And I am eager to be more conscious about testing the waters of transparency in the mediation room — as well as in difficult conversations during which I get to employ some mediation magic.

I’m not certain that I’ll have a whole lot of opportunity to test the waters of transparency in my small claims work. But in other settings both professional and personal, I might find opportunities. And it’s something I’ll remain mindful of as I explore new venues to flex my mediation muscles.

Anyone have any resources to suggest for further study on the subject?

Mediation trainings and events roundup. Summer-Fall ‘08

small calendarThe following is a selective listing of Boston area mediation, conflict resolution and negotiation trainings and events for the summer and early fall of 2008.

Email me at rachel at mediatorinthemaking.com to add your event to the next roundup.

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July 16 - 19, 2008 * and again September 17 - 20, 2008
Basic Mediation Workshops
From Woodbury College

Learn and practice skills in identifying and framing issues, listening for interests, controlling the process, helping disputants solve problems, finalizing agreements, and handling special problems in mediation.

Tuition: $845 or $695 for participants registered by a non-profit organization
Location: Montpelier, VT

________________________________________________
August 15, 2008 * 2:30pm to 5pm
Mediation Roundtable: Domestic Violence Awareness Workshop
From Mediation Works, Inc.
Presenter: Deloris Aguirre, Boston Public Health Commission

The MWI Roundtable is an open discussion group where practitioners can explore topics related to mediation, negotiation, and dispute resolution.

Location: 4 Faneuil – Fourth Floor, Boston, MA

________________________________________________
August 19 - 28, 2008
40-hour Divorce Mediation Program
From Roger Williams University, School of Justice Studies

An intensive 40-hour course during which individuals will acquire the practical skills and techniques for competent mediation.

Tuition: $1,100
Location: Providence, RI

________________________________________________
August 24 - 28, 2008 * 9am to 5pm
Social Justice Mediation Institute
Presented by Leah Wing

Participants will explore the relationship between social justice and how conflicts develop and are resolved through lectures, interactive activities, analyses of (actual) videotaped mediation sessions, skill improvement, and roleplays.

Location: UMass Amherst
Tuition: $990
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September 12, 2008 * 8:30am to 4pm
Housing and Eviction Advanced Mediation Training
From Mediation Works, Inc.
Experience and training prerequisites apply.

Location: 4 Faneuil – Fourth Floor, Boston, MA

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September 17, 2008 * 2:30pm to 5pm
Mediation Roundtable:
Dealing with Emotions and Cognitive Errors at the Mediation Table - Theirs and Yours

From Mediation Works, Inc.
Presenter: Diane Levin

The MWI Roundtable is an open discussion group where practitioners can explore topics related to mediation, negotiation, and dispute resolution.

Location: 4 Faneuil – Fourth Floor, Boston, MA

________________________________________________

September 23 - December 9, 2008 * 6pm to 9pm
Negotiation and Dispute Resolution
From the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School
Experience and training prerequisites apply.
Faculty: Gillien Todd and Emily Epstein

Giving the milk away – was Mom right?

cowYou know the old saying about the milk and the cow. Feminist perspective aside, some are wondering if this adage might apply to the professional mediation community.

There are a whole lot of people in the Boston area alone practicing mediation and conflict resolution in various ways. Some make very comfortable livings doing mediation or a combination of mediation, arbitration, negotiation, coaching and even ombuds consulting. Some combine these works with other work. And many, like me, do this work as an avocation. For free.

I can’t help but think back to my days in the Boston music scene. There are literally thousands of bands in Boston alone. Many are happy to play for free (or really end up paying to play by the end of the night). And with so many bands drooling just to have an audience, any audience, bars have little or no reason to pay bands anything. That is, no reason until a seemingly miraculous chain of events combine with an incredible amount of hard work and a lot of supportive people to land that band with a few bargaining chips in their pocket.

Is it the same in the world of mediation? I’m looking at you, experienced Boston mediators, especially. Post your comments and share your thoughts or add some more questions.

Does giving it away make it harder to make a living?

Are we promoting awareness of the profession through all this volunteer work, and so making it more possible for more people to find conflict resolution a profession rather than avocation?

Medation career profile: Violence Interrupter

CeaseFireThis morning, doing one of my favorite things – listing to This American Life – I heard an interview with violence interrupter Tim White of CeaseFire. Tim is a former gang member who now fills an extremely compelling role in the world of conflict resolution.

With an “intimate knowledge of what motivates an urban youth to shoot,” violence interrupters are trained by violence prevention experts and then connected in to neighborhood networks in order to intervene before violence happens. Usually, this means stepping in when revenge violence is likely.

CeaseFire’s efforts have substantially decreased the rate of gun violence in a city suffering what has been deemed a public health epidemic.

As I explore the practice of mediation, I am exploring how it and related practices such as conflict resolution, conflict management, coaching and negotiation, are practiced professionally. Every now and then, I’ll share with you here brief profiles of the career paths I find intriguing, inspiring, or otherwise noteworthy.

Violence interrupters take a unique path into the world of professional conflict resolution, perhaps making their work all the more compelling to me. It is a true community empowerment model. Community members becoming leaders of conflict management within their own communities. Modeling the change they wish to see in their part of the world.

I’m so glad to know that this exists.

For a more in-depth treatment of the program, hear an interview with the director or visit the Executive Summary: Evaluation of CeaseFire-Chicago published by Northwestern University Institute for Policy Research.

Overheard in small claims

gavelI’ve been away from the blogosphere for a while. It’s great to be back! My days have been filled with lots of home projects, and at least a little bit of lounging by the neighbor’s pool … and a whole lot of work digesting all the I’ve learned through fall and spring trainings, and singular small claims experiences. Which brings me to today’s musings.

Many never get to experience the amazing wonder that is small claims.

As a mediator, I remind myself that I am seeing people at anything but their best. I silently assert that for the most part, these might be very sensible, caring, aware people. And that intractable disputes can have drastic effects on anyone.

“I’m going to have fun with this.”
I’ve been doing some reading about the story-telling phenomena. It seems that from our first step on the ladder of inference, we begin telling ourselves a story of what’s happening. Especially in stressful situations, we can become wholly focused on our story and lose our mindfulness of the moment. We perceive the other as what our narrative has drawn, and cease to objectively observe them or the events. By the time these people get to court, they have wrapped themselves tightly in a story which ends with their vindication. They are here for judgment day. And they are especially disappointed when their judgment day is takes a side route into the mediation room.

“I’m just here for the principle.”
Also wrapped tightly in their own story, the person here for the principle is expecting vindication. A judge will wrap a gavel, point down from on high with a bony finger at the evil doer who has wrought such terror within an innocent life, saying, “You have been very bad. Give this innocent angel here a hug. And five dollars.”

“Is this going to be like Judge Judy?”
This person is well versed in the caricatures of Judge Judy or perhaps the People’s Court, their plaintiffs and defendants. They’ve seen poorly behaved or ill prepared plaintiffs and defendants ripped to shreds by sassy judges. They’ve learned from seemingly effective character assassinations, usually goaded on by said sassy judges.

They might tell the mediator they only agreed to mediation in order to impress the judge. They might enter the mediation room with many documents to show that they will come across as the one who’s got it together. They will likely insert interesting and totally unrelated tidbits about the other parties’ former mates, friends, sleeping habits, and anything else that could possibly spark controversy.

It’s not surprising and not the parties’ fault. In addition to how prolonged conflict can impact even the most mindful person, the whole small claims process seems so disempowering from the beginning. The parties appear bewildered when they enter the courtroom which bears no signage and boasts no person to greet or instruct them, or even confirm they’re in the right room. They wait quietly for what must seem an interminable time until the clerk enters to call the list. A far cry from the sassy powerful t.v. mavens with their impressive robes.

And then rather than judgment day, they get me and my co-mediator in a closet with chairs! Look for a future post on the challenges of ‘selling’ the promise of mediation to such crestfallen – or hostile – small claims parties.

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