mediatorinthemaking.com

adventures in learning the practice of mediation

 

Interests, options and reality:
A case study.

elipticalMy old gym has been trying to bring me back. Almost weekly, they email me invitations to take advantage of their ‘fabulous’ offers exclusive to former members.

I get that they’re a business. They want success. As many members as possible, paying as much as possible.

They seem to think I will rejoin simply because they email me an invitation to do so. I see no consideration of the possibility that I have interests here too. They’ve not once asked me why I am no longer a member. So they have no idea how to bring me back - only that it is in their interest to have my dues.

Perhaps had they thoroughly reality tested their chosen options for meeting their obvious interest, they would have learned quite a lot. Here’s a quick sampling of how they compare to my new gym.

  1. They offer more classes.
    But those classes are always overcrowded and often the only way to have a spot is to spend 30 minutes waiting in line.
  2. They have very similar machines.
    But there is less variety and always a wait. We have to sign machines out and are kicked off by the next customer as soon as our time is up.
  3. They offer towels. If you pay extra.
  4. They charge twice as much for membership.

What lessons have I learned here that we can apply to mediation and principled negotiation?

  • It’s not enough to identify your own interests, and options to meet them.
  • To reach an agreement that satisfies you, you might have to consider the other party’s interests as well.
  • If you don’t do so, agreement can still be reached. But it might not be your ideal. In this case, I went somewhere new once my membership was up at that old gym.

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