The power of the process
I had a great learning moment in my PON class last night.
We were role playing a fun case. After our joint session and one private session for each party, we started exploring what we were each seeing in our process. We looked at what we were struggling with, what had gone well.
Our student mediator shared that not being a judge, not being able to provide any legal advice or make any decisions about the case, he was uncertain where to go. As mediators, if we reveal this all to the parties, what would they think? What power would we have?
That’s when light bulbs blinked on over all of our heads. We could see it. The power of the mediator lies in the process.
It’s a different way of thinking. Most people are used to thinking about power over rather than power with people. It can take a very conscious effort to recognize, respect and constructively engage power with people.
When we do, we can facilitate a process that parties couldn’t or didn’t drive on their own. Which is what landed them in mediation. We can empower others to recognize their own and others’ needs, how to meet those needs, and how to find a mutually beneficial way out of their bind. (I realize many see empower as a very loaded word, and some are ambivalent to its use in the context of mediation. For now, it’s the best way I’ve found to communicate an idea about the power of the process.)
In that sense, mediators are very powerful. Depending on your point of view, perhaps even more powerful than the decision-makers to whom we’re used to deferring.
