mediatorinthemaking.com

The following is a selective listing of Boston area mediation, conflict resolution and negotiation trainings and events for April and May 2008.

Find additional training listings at Mediation Works, Inc. (basic training or advanced) and the Harvard Program on Negotiation.

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April 9, 2008 2pm to 4pm
ADR Professions Colliding:
Addressing the Tension Between Mediation and Collaborative Practice
from Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation, Inc.
Presenters: Lynda J. Robbins, Esq., and Karen J. Levitt, Esq.

Location: Arnold Room, Wellesley Free Library, 530 Washington Street, Wellesley, MA

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April 13 - 16, 2008
International Ombudsman Association Annual Conference
3rd Annual Conference of IOA: “Making a Difference-The Ombudsman Impact”
The Boston Park Plaza Hotel, Boston, MA

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April 16, 2008 8:30 - 10am
(Continental Breakfast at 8am)
Dispute Resolution Forum
from Harvard Law School and the Program on Negotiation
Speaker: Rikk Larsen, mediator, trainer, conflict coach, Managing Partner at Howell Larsen Associates, founding partner of Elder Decisions

Location: John Chipman Gray Room, 2nd Floor, Pound Hall

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April 17, 2008 2pm - 5:30pm
Assessing and Addressing Power Imbalances:
Abusive Relationships and the Collaborative Process
from Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council
Presenter: Professor Margaret Drew, University of Cincinnati College of Law

Location: The Walker Center, 171 Grove Street, Newton, MA

Attendance is limited, so register early at Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council
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April 28, 2008 9am - 4pm
Managing Conflict in the Workplace
from Cape Mediation
$150.00($125 by 3/28)

Location: Willy’s World Wellness & Conference Center in North Eastham

“Workplace conflict is inevitable … Learn a proven problem-solving model
and practical skills to help deal with conflict between staff, management, and customers.”

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May 2-9, 2008
CDSC Basic Mediation Training
from Community Dispute Settlement Center

Location: CDSC, 60 Gore Street, East Cambridge, MA
Cost: $695 ($650 if registration recvd. by April 3)

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May 21, 2008 11:30am to 2pm
(Social Time 11:30am to 12pm)
Overcoming Impasse – Tools to Empower Parties to Reach Agreements
from Mediation Works, Inc.
Presenters: Chuck Doran and Josh Hoch

Intended Audience: MWI Court and Divorce Panel Members
“Participating in mediation can be difficult for parties. After time, impasse can seem too difficult to overcome. Join Chuck and Josh for some advanced mediation skill training as they share techniques and discuss strategies for empowering parties to be able to overcome impasse, stay focused, and reach agreement.”

I am enjoying reading my peer mediation student’s blog over at Better Than Misery.

The latest post, Newsflash: No money in mediation,  of course caught my attention.

I can relate to this:

I think it has to do with the general public learning what it means and why its beneficial. Lately I have been thinking about alternative kinds of manifestations of my conflict management degree, including online dispute resolution projects.

You might have read me wondering here if most careers are careers in conflict resolution, and if conflict is just too sexy for most people to care to resolve rather than fight to the win/lose bitter end.

It amazes me to read a mediation student in Israel writing thoughts and experiences so similar to my own in the U.S. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one exploring these questions right now.

When working for my undergrad, I felt like I was going at light-speed with the knowledge that I would reach the light at the end of the tunnel, my professional life would start and my work would pay off. Seems like sometimes we mediation students feel like we could just be spinning our wheels.

Partly because I’m not doing the professional work I expected with my undergrad,  I’m ok with not knowing where this mediation work will lead. I know I really enjoy it, I seem to have aptitude for it, I’m finding opportunities as I go, and I’m using these skills every day in both professional and personal settings.

Any other mediation students out there? Pros who’ve been there? What are your thoughts?

I had a great learning moment in my PON class last night.

We were role playing a fun case. After our joint session and one private session for each party, we started exploring what we were each seeing in our process. We looked at what we were struggling with, what had gone well.

Our student mediator shared that not being a judge, not being able to provide any legal advice or make any decisions about the case, he was uncertain where to go. As mediators, if we reveal this all to the parties, what would they think? What power would we have?

That’s when light bulbs blinked on over all of our heads. We could see it. The power of the mediator lies in the process.

It’s a different way of thinking. Most people are used to thinking about power over rather than power with people. It can take a very conscious effort to recognize, respect and constructively engage power with people.

When we do, we can facilitate a process that parties couldn’t or didn’t drive on their own. Which is what landed them in mediation. We can empower others to recognize their own and others’ needs, how to meet those needs, and how to find a mutually beneficial way out of their bind. (I realize many see empower as a very loaded word, and some are ambivalent to its use in the context of mediation. For now, it’s the best way I’ve found to communicate an idea about the power of the process.)

In that sense, mediators are very powerful. Depending on your point of view, perhaps even more powerful than the decision-makers to whom we’re used to deferring.

My old gym has been trying to bring me back. Almost weekly, they email me invitations to take advantage of their ‘fabulous’ offers exclusive to former members.

I get that they’re a business. They want success. As many members as possible, paying as much as possible.

They seem to think I will rejoin simply because they email me an invitation to do so. I see no consideration of the possibility that I have interests here too. They’ve not once asked me why I am no longer a member. So they have no idea how to bring me back - only that it is in their interest to have my dues.

Perhaps had they thoroughly reality tested their chosen options for meeting their obvious interest, they would have learned quite a lot. Here’s a quick sampling of how they compare to my new gym.

1. They offer more classes.
   But those classes are always overcrowded and often the only way to have a spot is to spend 30 minutes waiting in line.
2. They have very similar machines.
   But there is less variety and always a wait. We have to sign machines out and are kicked off by the next customer as soon as our time is up.
3. They offer towels. If you pay extra.
4. They charge twice as much for membership.

What lessons have I learned here that we can apply to mediation and principled negotiation?

• It’s not enough to identify your own interests, and options to meet them.
• To reach an agreement that satisfies you, you might have to consider the other party’s interests as well.
• If you don’t do so, agreement can still be reached. But it might not be your ideal. In this case, I went somewhere new once my membership was up at that old gym.

A retired judge in the DC area is helping grow the online dispute resolution world with Virtual courthouse.com.

What’s this, you say? Our Mediator-in-the-making is exploring situations in which conflicts are resolved without any face-to-face work? Yes, I am intrigued by the ODR world. But please note as I have that this method is not for everyone or every case.

“The ideal case for Virtual Courthouse has only two parties, involves a dispute over money (as opposed to other forms of relief) and is not emotionally charged, he said. Fender-bender lawsuits fit the bill; custody cases and nasty disputes between neighbors do not.”

That makes sense to me.

It also seems that parties need to have certain resources in order to choose this route. For instance, as noted below, one would need access to a scanner to upload images of necessary documents. Money is also more of a factor here than in small claims, as “Virtual Courthouse charges each party a filing fee of $50 and the arbitrator or mediator charges the parties $300 total.”

Another consideration … insurance companies (or their lawyers) often do not agree to online dispute resolution. But Virtual Courthouse’s founder does feel that the legal profession is warming up to ODR.
Enough of this talk of limitations. How does it work?

“A plaintiff starts the process by registering with Virtual Courthouse, which e-mails the defendant to see if he or she will agree to ODR. If so, the parties pick a neutral from Virtual Courthouse’s list … (then) each party types in a statement of the case and uploads scanned images of any necessary documents, such as doctor’s bills. The neutral then decides what the case is worth.”

Cases have taken anywhere from 15 minutes to 45 days to complete.

And lest you think I’m on the verge of abandoning my face-to-face is best platform, the article noted that about 1/4 of Virtual Courthouse cases end up in face-to-face mediation.

I’m developing a rhythm of posting upcoming Boston area mediation trainings and events in the middle of every month. I expect each post to focus on the upcoming six weeks.

For recent or more immediately upcoming events, please visit my posts under the Training and Events category.

To list your event in my roundups, please email me.

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March 1 - April 5
(March 1, 4, 11, 18, 25 and April 5, 2008: Saturdays 9-5 and Tuesdays 3-9)
Basic Mediation Training
Sponsored by The Mediation & Training Collaborative (TMTC)

Location: Northampton, MA
Fee: $575 - Registration deadline February l5
For more information, 413-774-7469 x16 or shackney@communityaction.us

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March 3, 10, 17, 24, 31 (Fridays, 9am to 4pm)
Intensive Mediation Workshop: Getting Others to Yes
Management Assistance Program in collaboration with Mediation Works, Inc.
Presenters: Charles P. Doran, Josh Hoch, Moshe Cohen, Diane Levin

“… help others to successfully resolve conflicts … effectively facilitate the mediation process … lectures, demonstrations, interactive exercises, supervised role-plays and group discussions. Previous completion of negotiation skills training is helpful … Participants are required to attend all five sessions.”

Location: JRI Health Center for Training and Professional Development
25 West Street, 3rd Flr, Boston, MA 02111
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Wednesday, March 5, 2008 5:30pm to 8:00pm
A Look at Non Violent Communication
Presenter: Scott Loring

Social time 5:30pm to 6:00pm
Intended Audience: MWI Court and Divorce Panel Members

Nonviolent Communication (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg … examines the unmet needs behind what we say or do. The process transforms relationships with others and with one’s self … fosters respect, attentiveness and empathy, and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart.

Location:
Fee:

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March 5, 2008 9am-4:30pm
Workplace Conflict Resolution Skills Training for Managers and HR Professionals
Presented by Agreement Resources, LLC: employment attorney Leslie Lockard and mediator Crystal Thorpe

Location: Norwood, MA
Fee: $495 by February 8, 2008, or $520 thereafter (includes lunch and materials)
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Thursday, March 6, 2008 9am - 4pm
Advanced Negotiation Skills for Dispute Resolution Professionals
Presenters: Moshe Cohen and Ericka Gray, OptionBridge

“… beyond “Getting to Yes” to a deeper exploration of the psychological factors that enter into negotiation, different styles of negotiation, and how to assist parties in understanding how their own negotiation styles are contributing to impasse.”

Location: TBA
Fee: $195 until 2/14, $220 after

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Thursday, March 6, 2008 2pm to 5:30pm
Assessing and Addressing Power Imbalances: Abusive Relationships and the Collaborative Process
Presented by: Mass Collaborative Law Council, Professor Margaret Drew, University of Cincinnati College of Law

Welcomed particiapnts: lawyers, mental health professionals, mediators, financial specialists and other professionals interested in collaborative practice.

Location: The Walker Center, 171 Grove Street, Newton, Massachusetts
Limited space. Register at www.massclc.org

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March 12, 15, 16, 19, 26, 29, 30, 2008
Forty-Hour Mediation Training Program
Presented by: Mediation Works, Inc.
(weekend & weeknight program) seven sessions / 40-hours total

“… designed to prepare participants to effectively facilitate the mediation process … explores all aspects of the mediation process through lectures, demonstrations, interactive exercises, supervised role-plays and group discussions.”

Location: Suffolk University Law School,120 Tremont Street, Boston, MA
Fee: $775 ($725 if enrolled a month in advance)

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March 28, 29, 31, April 4
Divorce Mediation Training
Presented by: Community Dispute Settlement Center

“This 24 hour course … integrates substantive information with practice through interactive role playing experience. Prerequisite: Basic Mediation Training.”

Location: CDSC Offices, 60 Gore St., East Cambridge (near Lechmere T, Galleria, courthouses)
Fee: $695 ($675 early registration by Mar. 14) See website for additional discounts.

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Ongoing training.

Community Dispute Settlement Center
Mediation Practicum

Mediation Works, Inc.
MWI Mentor Program

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Select future events.

April 13 - 16, 2008
International Ombudsman Association Annual Conference
3rd Annual Conference of IOA: “Making a Difference-The Ombudsman Impact”
The Boston Park Plaza Hotel, Boston, MA

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UPDATE 2/16/08

A couple of events have popped up. March 7-8 Harvard Negotiation Law Review (HNLR) 2008 Symposium: Dispute Systems Design Across Contexts and Continents and March 8-29 36-hr Training in Mediation and Conflict Resolution.

Monster and CareerBuilder searches for Boston area jobs with the keywords “mediation, mediator, conflict resolution” return hundreds of jobs. Hundreds. And yet, as I’ve described in recent posts, the field of mediation is described as an overcrowded field terribly difficult to break into (and with a very bright future should you break in).

What’s happening here? The jobs are vastly different. An Administrative Assistant position at Northeastern University’s Office of Student Conduct and Conflict Resolution. Lots of Human Resources Manager positions calling for, among other things, effective conflict resolution skills. Ditto for Project Managers at places as different as State Street Corporation and The TRANE Company. Labor Relations Manager for the American Red Cross. Customer service and support roles also abound. Organizational Development and Learning Consultant for Partners Healthcare.

The trends I’ve been able to spot in these seemingly disparate jobs are that the greatest concentration of them are in management. And most of them include requirements of strong negotiating and effective communication skills, in addition to conflict resolution or mediation.

My questions far outnumber my observations at this point.

Does today’s workplace require all professionals, at least all managers, to be skilled in the arts of conflict resolution, mediation, negotiation and communication? That would be fabulous. Though my experience is that such skills are seen as happy bonuses in professionals adept at skills more directly related to the work on their desks.
But if this is becoming the new universal requirement … How could this change the conflict resolution and mediation professional fields? Will it push such professionals to develop their respective fields more deeply? Force even more focus on training than practice?

Where are all of these professionals learning their skills? Are they all dedicating 40 hours to basic mediation training? Online courses promising to turn them into skilled mediators in a few short hours and without those pesky other people? I know a lot of mediators find their bread and butter in training … mediator courses, on-site corporate trainings, one-on-one coaching. Perhaps that is where true growth lies.

I’ll need to do more research and watch the job markets closely to understand much more than I now do. In the meantime I look forward to hearing from folks out there already thinking about these questions and more.

I am beginning to learn to appreciate the art of the option. Timing, framing, body language.

Parties hear everything we say through their own filters. They are constantly considering their position, their options, their goals, their BATMAs, and their mediators: can they trust us, can they feel comfortable with us, are we truly neutral and will we really help them get what is to them a fair deal?

We hear the parties in a joint session. We hear each party in private sessions. Perhaps next we hold an additional private session with party (a), during which we plan to share with them an option put forth by party (b).

And here enters the art. To hear any additional thoughts or ideas party (a) would like to share, without appearing as though we are just waiting to get in there and share the information we’ve got in our pockets. And to put forth party (b)’s option, with the right introduction, the right tone, without appearing to be partial to any option or either party. What an art!

I think I might have missed opportunities to help parties settle by being too eager to share an option put forth by one party. Without laying the proper framework, especially without giving proper attention to highlighting parties’ commonalities, one party might actually go back on the defensive at hearing the mediator put forth the other party’s option. Just the opposite of what we’re looking for when putting forth an option that can help parties begin to move toward middle ground.

I think I’m going to try and imagine putting forth parties’ options to each other much like planting a seed and coaxing it to grow. It takes patience, delicate care, genuine attention to provide what is needed. The process can’t be forced. But if it’s trusted, something great can happen.

This morning, on the treadmill, my wandering eyes found a very exciting flat panel TV showing in very exciting HD a very exciting courtroom drama. You know the kind, with two people airing their private lives before a judgmental judge (yes, I’m aware of the unfortunate but rather fitting language).

A few minutes later, I look up again to find a divorce courtroom drama and I recall an article I read recently saying something like that working with a mediator can cost 1/4 what it would to go to court. Don’t quote me on that as I’m very possibly misquoting. But it is easy to find literature touting the merits of mediation vs. court for a range of disputes, especially divorce.

As I wondered why anyone would choose to air their private lives before a snappy judge and the daytime TV watching world, I had an idea. Maybe conflict is just too exciting for us to avoid.

Can you imagine what would happen if Divorce Court was replaced with The Mediation Room? Would anyone watch two spouses learning to manage conflict and speak to each other constructively thanks to the leadership and facilitation of a mediator?

I recall being amazed to watch a party at (real live) small claims court mimic so deftly the stereotypical People’s Court plaintiff, complete with totally unrelated personal insults, I could’ve believed it was scripted.

Yes, I realize we could easily debate the actual reality of “reality” court TV shows. But I think it is more important that enough people watch these shows to have kept them on the air for possibly decades. Or keep about seven hours of such shows a day on network TV now. (Yes, seven hours at last check of Comcast listings.)

So how do we minimize the allure of the down and dirty conflict? How do we make constructive communication more exciting than petty insults and flailing unkindnesses?

Perhaps it’s the people who like to watch. The people who don’t come to mediation. Perhaps these people are our true clients.

It’s a big day for the Mediator In the Making! Yesterday, I had my first glimpse into small claims mediation. I can’t wait to go back.

I’ve got pages and pages of notes I’d love to share with you all. Instead of publishing my first ebook, I’ll let it all simmer and explore one thing at a time. (No need to thank me. I realize you might have lives away from my blog.)

Perceptions. A heavily weighted word, and quite rightly so.

It seems to me that each mediator is constantly performing an amazing balancing act. We have our own perceptions of the process, the parties, our performance, our co-mediators. Within each of those, we’re building perceptions of appearances, body language, eye contact, tone of voice, and of course the words we’re hearing. We’re gauging - and maybe hearing - our parties’ perceptions of us, the process, and our co-mediator. And we’re hearing and gauging that of our co-mediator.

Just steps away from perceptions, we will find assumptions. Sometimes baby steps. So then we balance ourselves on the cusp of allowing our perceptions to give way to assumptions, which then would have us leading rather than facilitating or following the parties.

My, my, my! We would all make great circus acts, wouldn’t we? Balancing atop that tight rope, music playing, crowd gasping, and any number of additional distractions.

It was exciting to get to practice the process of recognizing and utilizing my perceptions, acknowledging and setting aside any assumptions which I might give way to in weak moments when I allow myself to not be fully present. To acknowledge and brush off, rather than suppress, any assumptions which could then give way to judgments, and allow myself to proceed with a clear mind and neutral perspective.

There’s another amazing characteristic of perceptions in the mediation room. Others’ perceptions might surprise me, or even directly conflict with my own. Yet there they are. And so I must acknowledge and respond to them. Management and customer service conventional wisdom tell us something similar, and useful here. It doesn’t matter if the customer’s perception seems to be reality from where we sit, or fits with what we mean to have them think. Because it is there, we must acknowledge and respond to it. Allow them to know that they have been heard (notice I do not say “feel heard”). In the mediation room, I guess this could be described as incorporating perceptions into the process.

Of course these are all my very early perceptions of this process. They are my foundational building blocks and I can’t wait to get back in there to continue my learning!